July 18 – I just tried to connect to Facebook. I’ve heard it is the best, most secure social networking service I can use. They even included an account recovery code! I’d better hold onto it in case they don’t ever send me anther one! Huh? I can’t connect. I don’t know what is wrong.
July 19 – Some guy at the tech support centre says my computer needs a network/wi-fi card. I don’t see why. He’s just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am?
July 22 – I bought the card. I couldn’t figure out where it goes. It wouldn’t fit in the monitor or the printer. I’m confused.
July 23 – I finally got the card in and configured it. That nine year old next door did it for me. But it still don’t work. I can’t get Facebook.
July 25 – That nine year old kid next door connected me to Facebook. He’s so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he says that was just another service. What a modest kid. He’s so smart and he does these services for people. Anyway he’s smarter then the jerks who sold me the wi-fi card. They didn’t even tell me about configuring the settings. Bet they didn’t know. And why do they put two network ports in the back when you only need one? Boy, are wi-fi card makers dumb! But the kid figured it.
July 26 – What’s a net? I thought I was using Facebook. Not this net thing. I’m confused.
July 27 – The nine year old kid next door showed me how to use this Facebook stuff. I told him he must be a genius. He says that he is compared to me. Maybe he’s not so modest after all.
July 28 – I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. maybe I need to buy a microphone.
July 29 – I found this thing called FB Groups. I got out of it because I’m using Facebook not FB Groups.
July 30 – These people in these groups thing keep using capital letters. How do they do that? I never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard.
JULY 31 – I CALLED THE COMPUTER MAKER I BOUGHT IT FROM TO COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT HAVING A CAPITOL LETTER KEY. THE TECH SUPPORT GUY SAID IT WAS THIS CAPS LOCK KEY. WHY DIDN’T THEY SPELL IT OUT? I TOLD HIM I GOT A CHEAP KEYBOARD AND WANTED A BETTER ONE. AND ONE OF MY SHIFT KEYS ISNT THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER. HE SAID THATS A STANDARD. I TOLD HIM I DIDN’T WANT A STANDARD KEYBOARD BUT ANOTHER BRAND. I MUST HAVE HAD AN IMPORTANT COMPLAINT BECAUSE I HEARD HIM TELL THE OTHER SUPPORT GUYS TO LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION.
AUGUST 1 – I FOUND THIS THING CALLED FACEBOOK HELP. IT SAYS THAT IT CAN ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS I ASK IT. I SENT IT 44 SEPARATE QUESTIONS ABOUT FACEBOOK. I HOPE IT RESPONDS SOON.
AUGUST 2 – I FOUND A SITE CALLED /R/HUMOUR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! HA! HA! I WASNT SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE TIMES.
AUGUST 3 – I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I DON’T KNOW SPIDERS GREW THAT LARGE.
AUGUST 4 – HELP RESPONDED TO MY QUESTIONS TODAY. GEEZ I FELT IT WAS RUDE. I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I POSTED AN ANGRY MESSAGE ABOUT IT TO /R/FACEBOOK. I WASNT SURE IF I POSTED RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 22 MORE TIMES.
AUGUST 5 – SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. GEEZ THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO USE PROFANITY.
AUGUST 6 – SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME TO STOP SHOUTING IN ALL MY MESSAGES. WHAT A STUPID JERK. IM NOT SHOUTING! IM NOT EVEN TALKING! JUST TYPING! HOW CAN THEY LET THESE RUDE JERKS GO ON THE INTERNET?
August 7 – Why have a Caps Lock key if you’re not suppose to use it? Its probably an extra feature that costs more money.
August 8 – I just read this post called make money fast. I’m so exited. I’m going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every Facebook page I could find.
August 9 – I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long. I will have to work on it some more.
August 10 – I just looked at a site called /r/fbsucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that fb should be wiped off the face of the earth. I wonder what an fb is.
August 11 – I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out www.google.com. I’ve looked and looked but I can’t find that Facebook group.
August 12 – I sent a post to every Facebook group asking where the www.google.com Facebook group is. hopefully someone will help. I can’t ask the kid next door. His parents said that when he comes back from my house he’s laughing so hard he can’t eat or sleep or do his homework. So they wont let him come over anymore. I do have a great sense of humour. I don’t know why the /r/humour site didn’t like my chicken joke. Maybe they only like dirty stuff. Some people sent me posts about my 56 posts of the joke and they used bad words.
August 13 – I sent another post to every Facebook group asking where the www.google.com Facebook group is. I had forgot yesterday to include my new signature file which is only 8 pages long. I know everyone will want to read my favourite poem so I included it. I’m also going to add that short story I like.
August 14 – Some guy suspended my account because of what I was doing. I told him I don’t have an account at his bank. He’s so dumb.